


Unexpected Love

by love_is_water



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, College Student Ian, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mechanic Mickey, Minor Character Death, Mourning, Slow Burn, cheating but not on each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_is_water/pseuds/love_is_water
Summary: Mickey works at a dealership as a mechanic. His husband, Adam, is a salesperson at the same dealership. After Mickey’s husband dies in a car crash he not only has to deal with losing him, but finding out that he wasn’t who he thought he was. Losing him not only brings sadness into his life but a redhead who’s just too hard to stay away from.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Mickey Milkovich/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 106





	1. Suspicions

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. I’m excited and nervous to put this out there. Hope you all give it a chance. There will be a happy ending as I always want them to be happy together. This story is not only about Mickey and his husband, Ian will be a major part of this story as well.

“This motherfucker is late again” thought Mickey as he sat with a cigarette in one hand and his cell in the other. He was attempting to call his husband, Adam, for what felt like the millionth time but again there was no answer. Adam worked as a salesman at a car dealership. Mickey knows he usually worked long hours. Yes, that’s all this was, nothing more. Except he didn’t believe this completely. Something in the back of Mickey’s mind kept trying to scream out that that wasn’t true.

Adam had been acting weird lately. He was late coming home from work, always with different excuses; the sale had taken too long to close, the buyers didn’t have all the paperwork they needed, the guys wanted to go out for a drink. At first Mickey didn’t think anything of it. Why should he? He also worked at a dealership, he knew what the hours were like. He knew what it was like when the guys nagged to go out for one drink that would no doubt turn to two and three. He’d seen how the business worked so he understood, but now something didn’t feel right, something was off. 

He started to notice how Adam started to act with his phone. He kept it on him at all times even taking it with him to the bathroom when he was going to shower. Mickey usually took pride in how much trust they had in each other. They never checked each other’s phones, but the level of secrecy Adam was displaying with his phone was really bothering him. Which is why it was frustrating him even more now that he wasn’t answering his damn phone. He knew he always had it on him, and he was constantly fucking checking it. But Mickey didn’t have anything else to base his suspicions on.

They had a good life together. They met at the dealership where Adam worked. It was the perfect rom-com story where Adam, the salesperson flirted with Mickey, the mechanic. It didn’t start with flirtatious looks and cheesy pick-up lines. All the guys at the dealership would all get together sometimes and have a beer or two at the closest bar after work. That’s all Adam was at the beginning, one of the guys. But there was drinking, and flirting, then they were fucking. Next thing he knows they’re exclusive and Adam is down on one knee proposing. It all happened so fast in a matter of eight months. 

The proposal was a surprise to Mickey. He cared about Adam and they had a good time together, but he never thought someone would want to marry him. Growing up Mickey had a fucked up childhood. His father was a brutal, homophobic, beat down if you get in his way or pissed him off type of guy, and it seemed Mickey was either always getting in his way or pissing him off. Mickey was hit or beaten almost on a daily basis and he still had a few scars to prove it. When Mickey realized he was gay he knew he would need hide forever. He’d had a close call in his teen years, when his dad almost caught him getting fucked by a guy. His dad had gone on a drug run with his brothers and was supposed to be gone for the whole weekend. Mickey had been fucking around with a neighborhood guy and decided he wanted to be fucked properly on a bed and not some quick fuck in an alley. He invited the guy over. They hung out, drank, ate, and fucked. He was supposed to leave that same night, but it turned out he really enjoyed getting fucked in a bed and various places throughout his house. So the guy ended up spending the night. He got too comfortable which proved to be a mistake. The next morning he wakes up to take a leak and he hears the front door open.

‘Who the fuck is that’ he thinks as he moves to grab a gun from his room. He hears his dad talking, “Bunch of fucking idiots could’ve gotten us all arrested!” Shit. He scrambles to get his clothes, He shoves the guy and tells him, “Let’s go now!” The guy is disoriented and rubbing at his eyes. Mickey starts to throw his clothes at him. The last thing he needs is his dad going to the bathroom and catching them getting dressed. “We’re getting the fuck out now!” The Milkoviches have a reputation so the guy knows who Mickey’s dad is and what he’s capable of. Thankfully he’s smart enough to get that something very serious is happening. They finish getting dressed. Mickey hears his dad walk into his own bedroom and slam the door shut. “Thank fuck” he whispers as he and the guy run out through the front door. 

After that day Mickey knew he had to get out. He couldn’t hide who he was forever and especially not for an asshole like his dad. So when Mickey turned 18 he took the money he had saved and found a small apartment for himself. He worked odd jobs for a while until he landed the job at the dealership. That had been 5 years ago now.

Now here he is 2 years and 8 months into this relationship with Adam and something is fucking off. He doesn’t want to go there, to think that his first real relationship involves a third person. Mickey knows Adam is confident and a flirt, but he figured once they were married...well they were married and he wouldn’t do that shit. And the more Mickey stands in his place thinking of the man he’s come to love, he realises more likely than not he’s being paranoid. He and Adam have had a good life together so far. Adam has been good to him in ways Mickey isn’t sure someone has been to him before. Adam was accepting of all Mickey’s emotional shortcomings due to his childhood. He was kind and he was most of all patient. Mickey closes his eyes for a brief moment and talks himself down from the ledge he’s built. Adam is probably just working and is too busy to pick the phone up. It’s nothing more than that.

Mickey’s phone starts to vibrate in his hand, he doesn’t bother to look at the number knowing it’s Adam.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

Mickey is pissed and he’s ready to fight.

“Hello Mr. Mikhailo Milkovich-Jeffrey”  
Mickey startles at the sound of the woman’s voice and asks, “Who the fuck is this?”

“This is Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Is this Mr. - Mr. Mikhailo Milkovich-Jeffrey”

Mickey’s blood runs cold. 

“Yes this is him” he says as he runs his hand down his face. 

“Sir, there’s been an accident involving your husband Adam Jeffrey.”


	2. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is dealing with the unthinkable as an unexpected attendee has him asking many questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to elysianaurora I couldn’t do any of this without you :)

When Mickey runs into the emergency room he hardly sees anything or anyone in particular, completely blinded by the need to get to Adam. At the nurse’s station he barely stops to take a breath before rambling, “I was told my husband Adam Jeffrey was brought here.” He’s feeling overwhelmed and can’t seem to keep himself still. He’s got a sheen of sweat covering his body that causes his shirt to cling to his back. He runs his hand down his face, as he looks around the emergency room. 

The nurse looks at him with indifference as she types a few things into her computer before letting him know that his husband was still in surgery and a doctor will be out to speak with him shortly. 

The room suddenly feels like it’s spinning and Mickey feels the twitch of his fingers as his blood aches for a pull of nicotine. He goes outside to smoke a cigarette and hopes that it will calm his nerves. Three butts in and he’s thinking _Fuck_ , no amount of cigarettes can calm his nerves. As he finishes his cigarette he walks back into the waiting area with trembling fingers and a turning stomach. He has so many questions. _What happened? Where did it happen? How did it happen?_ He wants to know. He needs to know. Shit he prays to anyone that will hear him that his husband comes out of this. His thoughts are all over the place, and he just needs to know how his husband is doing. _How badly is he hurt?_ Why does he need surgery? Then as if to play a cruel joke on him his mind reminds him of what he was thinking before he got the call, and he feels like the biggest asshole alive. Here he was thinking that his husband was cheating on him and he was laid out somewhere on the road. What kind of person was he? The guilt of it all was too much, sitting heavily in the pit of his stomach weighing him down on a cold plastic chair in the hospital waiting room. He felt like he was about to break down. As he fights to gain control of himself a doctor comes out into the waiting area.

“Mr. Jeffrey?”

“Yes, yes that’s me” He shoots up onto his feet and closes the distance.

“Hello, I'm Dr. Rodriguez,” she says as she extends her hand to shake his. “Your husband was brought in with severe injuries and internal bleeding. He’s in critical condition and the next 24 hours are critical. The car they were traveling in was T-boned on the driver’s side. Mr. Jeffrey received the most critical injuries. Do you have any questions?”

All his other questions quickly slip away and the only important one is vocalised, “Can I see him?” asked MIckey as his eyes filled with tears. Something about what she said sticks out to Mickey momentarily, but he’s so focused on getting to Adam, that it immediately slips his mind.

“Yes of course” She led him down the hall to the nurse’s station and let the nurse know that he would be entering to see his husband. The nurse looked at Mickey and is about to speak when there is a commotion coming from one of the rooms. Code blue. Code blue, echoes through the nurse’s speaker.

“He’s flatlining! We need the doctor in here stat!” All of a sudden there are nurses and Dr. Rodriguez is running into a room while she juggles to get her stethoscope into her ears . Mickey gets the worst feeling in the pit of his stomach. It churns deep within bringing up the taste of bile.

“What’s happening?” He asks the nurse at the station. She looks at him with a mix of concern and pity and he knows, he knows that’s the room Adam is in. And sure enough she asks him if he could go have a seat in the family waiting room. 

“What happened? Where is my husband?” he yells because he’s getting really scared now. Why won’t anyone tell him anything? “Sir, please have a seat in the family waiting room. They are doing everything they can for him.” And just like that she confirms his suspicions, that person in that room that everyone ran to is Adam. 

It feels like hours later when Dr. Rodriguez comes out again. He’s sitting on a hard plastic chair with red rimmed eyes and doesn’t know what to do or think. 

“Mr. Milkovich-Jeffrey” she says as she approaches him. He walks up to her and he just knows...he’s gone. He could tell but the frown lines that appear around her mouth and the way her brow is furrowed slightly like she doesn’t want to tell him, she doesn’t want to be the one who changes his world forever. “We did everything we could. I’m sorry the internal bleeding couldn’t be controlled… your husband died”

* * *

The next few days are a blur to Mickey. He’s gone home, called some people, but mainly he’s just trying to wrap his head around it all. He’s floating.

He never thought he’d be here. A widower at 23 years old. 

When they got married he figured they’d be together for years and years, and here he is almost 3 years later...alone. He remembers that morning before he left to work. 

“You’re leaving already?” he asks as he’s getting ready to brush his teeth. “Yea got to get in early to close up a deal.”

“Oh alright, well I can get dressed pretty quickly and we can drive in together.”

“No, don't do that, take your time. You don’t want to be there longer than you have to. Besides you’ll get out before I do so take your own car. I”ll see you later tonight ok.”

Mickey’s face falls because he feels like it’s been too long since they’ve gone in to work together the way they did when they first got together “Ok I’ll see you in a bit. Maybe we can pick up some lunch?”

“Uhm probably not. I'll be busy most of the day today. I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep” He had come around and hugged Mickey from the back and given him a quick kiss on the neck.

“I’ll see you later tonight, but I’ll probably be late you know how these things go” he’d said as he walked out the door. Mickey remembers he saw him at work but just briefly, between Adam being busy with clients and him working on cars most of the day. When he had clocked out Adam had been out on a test drive, so he’d figured he’d see him at home.

He doesn’t even remember what shirt Adam wore before he left the house. The guilt of where his mind had been the night of Adam’s death added to the fact that he could hardly remember what his husband wore the last time he saw him ate every day at Mickey’s mourning heart.

* * *

It’s a rainy day, the day of Adam’s funeral. The day of Adam’s funeral..fuck. Mickey can’t believe this is really happening. The weather had seemed to have gotten the memo of Mickey’s mood, dimming the grey skies and pouring buckets at the most inopportune intervals throughout the day. There are so many people who turned up, and so many people are coming up to him, and offering him condolences. Although he appreciates it all he wishes they’d all fuck off, all he wants is to mourn his husband alone. He doesn’t want to have to entertain their looks of pity or their ‘comforting’ shoulder pats. Mickey has got people all around him he can barely see above or around them all. He notices Ben and Alex, a couple of friends/co workers from the dealership talking to each other, but it’s the way they are talking that really catches his eye. It makes him stop and take notice of them. They are whispering to each other, they look almost….nervous, then Ben looks over Alex’s shoulder and his eyes widen. He looks around as if looking for someone, and his eyes land on Mickey. He raises his eyebrows at him in question, but Ben just looks away nervously. Alex is following his line of sight and the color almost drains from his face. Something is going on and Mickey wants to know what the fuck is happening.

Before Mickey can make a move to talk to them he is approached by Adam’s aunt. She comes up to him and hugs him to offer her condolences. The stifling smell of her perfume makes his anxiety increase tenfold. She goes on to tell him a story about when Adam was a little boy and how much she will miss him, but Mickey hardly hears a word she says. She then turns to leave and Mickey looks for Ben and Alex again. He sees they are no longer where they were previously standing. He turns to look for them. He has to look between people and try not to make it too obvious that something is happening. He finally spots them talking to another man on the far end of the lot they are on. Ben has his hand on the guy's shoulders and is guiding him off the lot. The stranger has his head down and nodding his head at what Ben is saying to him. Mickey notices that he is a tall, red head, and it looks like he has a sling on his arm. Alex is walking on the other side of the red head with his hands in his pockets, not talking to him but looking on at Ben and nodding his head in agreement. What seems odd to Mickey is the red head looks distraught, he’s shuddering as if he’s crying, his shoulders are moving up and down, his hand is on his face. This seems so odd to him. He knew all of Adam’s friends, he knows everyone here...except for him. Which makes him think, why is he here, but so far away? It was almost as if he didn’t want to be seen, but Alex and Ben knew him. So if they knew him, why were they walking him away and not towards the funeral? And if he was just an acquaintance, or someone he knew in passing, why did he look so distraught? Something was not adding up and now Mickey wanted answers.


	3. Ginger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey searches for answers.

It’s been two days since Adam’s funeral and Mickey can’t get that redhead out of his mind. He’d decided he was going to talk to Alex and Ben about it. He was being a pussy about it because he didn’t want to know what he knew they would tell him. He feared that the little prickling doubt that lived at the back of his mind would be true. But the more he thought about it, he asked himself the obvious question _could he really live with himself if he never found out?_ Mickey knew he had to find out, if his suspicions were true, then he’d deal with the feelings that came after. 

Mickey had texted Ben and Alex to meet after work for some drinks at the bar they always went to. Neither of them had texted him back, and the longer he waited for their answer the louder the truth became. They were avoiding him. So since they didn’t answer him he did the next best thing and waited for them at work. The dealership had given him a week off to get things sorted. He was standing by his car in the employee parking lot when he saw Alex walking to his car.

“Yo Alex, wait up!” Mickey yells when he sees him. Alex has always been the quiet one in the group. Won’t say much but he will definitely be there if needed. Alex looks around and spots Mickey. His face remains the same but Mickey can tell that something is wrong. As Mickey walks over to him, Alex stops walking, takes out his phone, and sends a text. 

“Hey, Mickey what’s up? How’re you doing?” 

Mickey avoids his question and instead asks him, “Why the fuck have you been avoiding my texts?”

Alex looks around the parking lot as if waiting for something or someone. “No, you know, I’ve just been busy.” They have been friends for a long time and Mickey just knows that he’s lying to him and that makes him angry and kind of scared at the same time. Just as Mickey is about to call bullshit he hears someone coming up behind him. He turns around and sees Ben running up to them.

‘Is that who he texted? He texted Ben to come out here?’ Mickey wonders. 

“Hey, Mickey what...what’re you doing here?” askes Ben as he joins Mickey and Alex. And it’s almost like Ben’s presence brings the truth with him because all of a sudden Mickey knows that his suspicions are true. Ben and Alex are not like this. They don’t get nervous or rattled easily. Alex texting Ben proved that something was up. 

“Well first I want to know why you two assholes are ignoring my texts, and then I want to know why one has to call the other to talk to me. Then you can finish off by telling me who the fuck the red-head was at Adam’s funeral” 

Alex and Ben share a look between each other that is not lost on Mickey. “This is what the fuck I’m talking about you two are acting squirrely as fuck and I want to know why.” Mickey stood straight and crossed his arms, his body language leaving no room for discussions. 

“Mickey it’s not really our story to tell” replies Alex as he looks at Ben for confirmation. Mickey rubs at his lip with his thumb, “Was Adam cheating on me?” There he said it. He couldn’t be a coward about it anymore. Ben and Alex stare at each other as if having a silent conversation, and Mickey’s patience was running really thin. 

“Will you two stop with the fucking looks, and silent conversations and answer my damn question.”

“Look Mickey we don’t want to get involved in any-” Ben is saying as Mickey interrupts him “Get involved in what exactly because Adam is fucking gone and I’m here trying to figure out what the hell was going on behind my back. Something that you two fucking assholes, that call yourselves my friends by the way, obviously knew about!” 

“Fuck ok,” Ben says as he rubs his hand down his face. “Adam was seeing this guy that’s in college named Ian, he met him here at the dealership, it had been going on for several months. That’s all we know”

Mickey feels like everything is falling around him. He had a strong suspicion, but suspecting and knowing are very different. 

Mickey turns to leave, he got the answers he came for, but just as he’s leaving he remembers something. He looks at them and asks, “How did you know him?” They both look to the ground, like children who have been reprimanded. “Mickey do you really want to-” Ben is saying as Mickey yells, “How the Fuck. Did. You. know. Him!?”

“We went out for beers a couple of times with them,” Ben says as he looks down at his feet. 

“Wow, you went out for beers, huh,” Mickey says with red-rimmed eyes, “what great fucking friends you are. Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.” 

Mickey walks back to his car with the realization that not only did his husband betray him, but so did his friends. 

* * *

As he drove home he was riddled with more questions and self-doubt. Why would Adam need to look for someone else? Was he not happy? Was he better looking? Better in bed? Fuck he didn’t, couldn’t even think about that. He needed to get home and forget about all this, but how could he? It's like the name was taunting him, _Ian, Ian, Ian._

He never thought they had a perfect marriage, but he thought they were happy. Weren’t they? Fuck he can’t stop thinking about it! 

As he walks into their house he notices the bag of Adam’s belongings he had received from the hospital. He wants to throw it all and burn it, but he can’t...he fucking can’t. And it happens, he breaks down sliding to the floor against the door, and starts to cry. He cries for losing his husband, his cheating, fucking husband. He cries for losing his fucked up friends. He cries for himself for stupidly believing that he was capable of being loved properly. He cries for the betrayal. And he cries because now he’s all alone, truly alone. 

After Mickey left home everything that he knew was left behind. He had two brothers, but they had left as soon as they could, and never came back. His mom was the first to leave his hateful childhood home, and he also had a sister. She met some guy that didn’t treat her like shit and left. She didn’t say where and never reached out. But none of it had seemed to matter because in Mickey’s mind he always had Adam. Not anymore.

Now he was all alone.

After he’s had a long cry, he wipes his hand down his face and gets up to grab a six-pack from the fridge. He lays in bed as he drinks his beer trying not to think of _Ian and Adam, Adam and Ian_. Fuck it’s eating away at him. All those fucking questions swirling around in his mind. He’s on his fourth beer when he feels himself falling asleep. His eyes are feeling heavy and he feels like the warm arms of sleep are taking him under. 

And of course, that’s when he remembers, he remembers the doctor's words, at the hospital. ‘ _The car_ ** _they_ **_were traveling in…’_ **They** , she had said THEY, and he hadn’t caught it because he was so worried about Adam. 

He was with him. That also explained the sling on the red head’s arm at the funeral. He had been with his husband when it happened. As if driven by an unknown force Mickey got up and went to Adam’s bag of belongings from the hospital. He opens it and feels around for something, anything. Then he feels it. Adam’s phone. How much information was he going to find? Did he want to go there? Before he could think any more about it he opened his phone, and of course, it needed to be charged. He takes it to the room and plugs it in. The phone starts coming to life. He unlocks it and searches his contacts. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Adam to have different people’s phone numbers. He was a salesman. It was practically a rule to have so many contacts. He went directly to “I” but didn’t find a number for Ian. Then he went to his call log. So many calls to and from the same contact “Ginger” 

As he looked he felt himself get more frantic. There were phone calls at all hours of the day and night. Calls at 11:30 pm when Mickey had been asleep. During their lunchtime, in the morning on his way to work. Mickey was getting angrier as he looked at the phone. He exited the call log before he decided to break the phone. But it was almost an internal need to punish himself for believing that Adam truly loved him. So he kept searching. He searched Adam’s social media accounts. Mickey hated all social media, if he wanted to talk to you he’d text if not then he didn’t fucking care. He found Instagram and searched his contacts list. And there he was. Red hair, and sunglasses, smiling into the camera, _Ian Gallagher._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and comments! They are really motivating!


	4. 7 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finds out new information and makes a decision.

It feels as if he’s stared at the picture for hours and maybe he has, but he couldn’t stop looking at him. He’s dissecting every part of his face and finds that he is beautiful. Of course, Adam would cheat with him. Now he not only feels like shit but completely inadequate as well. So as further punishment to himself, he starts to scroll through his pictures. 

There are pictures of Ian alone and with other people, but then his heart clenches as he sees that familiar face. It’s a picture of Adam and Ian. They’re in a car and Ian is smiling up to his eyes at the camera while Adam gives him a kiss on the cheek. The caption reads, “ _Grabbing some lunch!_ ” They look fucking _happy_.

It’s from about a month ago. 

He continues to scroll through the pictures and sees another one of them. This one shows Ian taking a selfie and Adam is in the background leaning against his car facing away from the camera, but he’d recognize him anywhere. That stance, the curve of his back. The shirt Mickey bought him! What the fuck! He looks down at the date and sees that it’s from four months before. Mickey’s whole body begins to shake as he reads the date. Four months, four fucking months. How long had this been going on? Was he his boyfriend? Did they go on dates? Did they have feelings for each other? Did Adam _love_ him? He feels like he’s going to throw up. This can’t be happening.

But now he’s on a mission to find out all that he can, it’s like someone turned the key on his back and wound him up so tight before letting him loose like a toy car, he can’t stop, he needs to know. When did this start? How did it start? Why did it start? He can’t fucking believe this. He scrolls further down as tears fill his eyes. He sees a picture of Ian with a girl and they’re standing on the lot. They’re at the dealership. The girl has big brown eyes and an even bigger smile. They’re standing next to a silver Toyota that was just purchased on the lot. The caption reads _“Fiona got a car and I got a phone number. Looks like we’re both leaving with something.new”_ Mickey can’t read anymore; he throws the phone on the bed but thinks better of it. He picks it up again and scrolls back to that picture. He needs to know the date. 

It’s from 7 months ago. 

“Holy shit” his voice trembles as he comes to the realization that this has been going on for 7 fucking months. That Adam had been cheating on him for 7 months. Tears roll down his face as his lips quiver and he doesn't even try to stop them as he slowly backs away from the phone like it’ll fucking explode and lets himself sink down to the floor.. 

He must’ve fallen asleep because as he comes to, his head hurts, and his eyes feel like they’re swollen from all the crying. His back hurts like a motherfucker from sleeping on the floor, but he forces himself up. He looks at the clock and it’s almost 10 pm. He could go out to a bar, or get something to eat. But nothing appeals to him. He feels numb. He decides to wash his face and brush his teeth, at least that gives him something to do. Crying won’t fix shit, it won't make Adam any less of a cheater, it won’t bring him back, and it most definitely won’t change the last 7 months. 

He turns on the tv to see if it’ll distract his mind. He’s mindlessly flipping through the channels when he sees a commercial for an auto accident attorney. The commercial reminds him of the accident and in that moment Mickey makes a decision. He’s going to find Ian. He’s going to talk to him and get as much information as he can. And maybe even punch him in his stupid, beautiful face Mickey feels the need to know as much as he possibly can. He can’t ask Adam because the lying, cheating bastard is gone, but he can find Ian. He could find out the truth. 

He knows this behavior is not normal, but right now he doesn’t care and rationality has never been his strong suit. He remembers Ben had said Ian was in college. He grabs the phone and scrolls through Instagram again trying to find any clues as to how to find him. He finally sees a picture of Ian with a backpack with the caption “another day of class” #uic #finance 

‘No, no, no’ he thinks this is not good. I can’t do that. What the fuck! He decides to turn off the tv and go to bed. He needs to stop this.

The next morning he wakes up with the same bullshit on his mind. As he’s getting ready for the day he decides that maybe going to see Ian isn’t what he should do, he thinks about the grief counselor his boss told him about. Maybe he’ll go see him...or maybe not. What he does know is that going to see Ian is not a good idea. A grief counselor might be able to help him sort out all his feelings. Now Mickey has never been one to go to any kind of counselor, but when you find out that your dead husband is a lying, cheating, bastard...well that could make anyone change their mind. 

As he walks into the bedroom he sees the phone again on the side of the bed. He’s not going to open it, he’s not. He goes to the kitchen to make himself some coffee. He pours his coffee in his cup and goes to the room to get his own phone when he hears a beep from Adam’s phone. Wait...what the fuck? He reaches over and sees a notification on Instagram. 

_Ian Gallagher shared a post_

He can’t help himself. He opens the app and sees a picture of Ian looking into the camera with the sling and a sad, pouty face. #studysesh #coffeeoncampus #Ihatethesling

Ok fuck a grief counselor, he’s going to the university to find Ian. He closes the phone, grabs his keys, wallet, and his own phone. Then pours out his coffee and makes his way over to the university. 

Alright, he’s prepared. He knows what Ian looks like, and has an idea of where he’s going to be. 

He hasn’t given much thought as to what he’ll do when he actually sees him. Part of him wants to fuck him up, but another part wants to get as much information as he can from him. It’s not healthy he gets that, but here is this man that was a part of his life without him knowing it. It’s like he needs to punish himself for believing he could be happy, that someone would want him and only him. 

As he walks the campus he searches for the dining hall hoping he’ll find Ian in there. Mickey has never thought of himself as a particularly lucky guy, if anything it’s completely the opposite for him. So he doesn’t think that he’ll have any luck finding Ian easily. 

He spots a coffee shop close to where he’s at and decides to go in there and try his shitty luck. He opens the door to the coffee shop and heads to the counter to order a coffee. He’s looking up at the menu to see what he should order when he feels cold liquid spill down his shirt, and a hard bump to his body.

“Fuck!” He looks up to see who the fuck just spilled their drink on him.

He sees green eyes looking back at him, and there he is Ian Gallagher in the flesh. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. That’s totally my fault I wasn’t looking. Here” Ian stammers as he hands him some napkins to wipe his shirt down. 

Mickey looks up and stares at him. He’s shocked his mind can’t catch up that this is really happening. That he’s here right in front of him. Everything he had thought he was going to do or say goes right out the window. He’s shocked speechless. 

“Well at least it was iced coffee, right? Shit sorry” Ian says nervously again as he runs his hand through his hair. “Let me buy you a coffee for my clumsiness and..and replace my own.” 

“Um ok thanks, but I can buy my own.”

“No really let me. I feel like an asshole for ruining your shirt. This sling makes everything more difficult.” Ian gestures to his sling and starts moving toward the counter and Mickey finds that he’s following him. Once he’s at the counter, Ian turns around to look at him and says “Ian...I”m, My name it’s Ian” He looks at him expectantly and Mickey is compelled to answer him, “I”m Mickey”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos they are all greatly appreciated. I hope you all are still enjoying it.


	5. Meeting Ian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey talk and things get a bit more confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know I haven't updated in a bit but it was a difficult start to the new year. I had someone very close and very dear to me pass away, and I was dealing with that. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read it. Also, I may not always respond to your comments but please know that I do read them all and I love to hear everything you all have to say.

They’re standing awkwardly waiting for their order. Ian is the only reason Mickey was here, and on his way here he was still thinking about how he would approach him when he saw him. But now that he’s here waiting with him to get his coffee. That’s when he realizes that he hadn’t planned further than showing up, picking Ian out of a crowd, and then what. What’s he supposed to say ‘Thanks for the coffee, by the way, why were you fucking my husband?’ Not exactly. So instead he awkwardly stands there next to Ian scratching at his temple with his thumb. Ian looks down at him every so often, like he wants to say something, but doesn’t until finally, he does.

“Were you meeting someone?” Ian asks him and he’s so distracted by his own thoughts that he only catches the end of it. So he very eloquently replies with “Huh?”

“Were you meeting someone here? Is that why you were here?”

' _Shit'_ “Uhm yea but I guess they didn’t show” he looks around the coffee like he's actually looking for the person who is supposed to meet him, the person who doesn’t exist.

“Do you want to get a table then? I was supposed to have a study session with some friends but they bailed at the last minute. I was just leaving when I bumped into you and ruined your shirt. Sorry about that again by the way” Ian points to his dark blue shirt that is still sticking to his chest, and now looks black from the coffee stain.

“Yea don’t worry about that.”

How does he respond to that? No, he doesn’t want to get a table with him and do what; get to fucking know each other, talk about the weather, bring up dead husbands that were cheating on you with a certain red-headed college student, that he kept on his phone as ‘Ginger’. NO, he doesn’t want to sit and just talk to this fucking guy. He’s going to get his coffee, which should be out by now because fuck they’re taking their sweet ass time, and leave.

Immediately after he stops and thinks ‘Well he did come here to talk to him, maybe getting a table won’t be so bad, let’s just see how this fucking goes.’

“So do you want to get a table? I think those people are leaving over by the corner.”

“Yea, sure that’s fine”

Mickey is starting to question this decision. What is he supposed to talk to him about, he has a feeling this is going to be awkward, to say the least.

Right at that moment, the barista calls their names out “Ian!” “Mickey!”

As they sit at the table that awkwardness extends because the reality of it is how often do you just get a table with a random stranger to sit down and chit chat. Never. Especially someone like Mickey, although Ian wasn’t a complete stranger, he doesn’t know that.

Mickey decides to just go for it, start with the most obvious thing. “What happened to your arm?”

“Car accident,” he says as he waves his hand as if it’s not a big deal. For some reason, this bothers Mickey. Someone died in that car accident, more specifically Adam, his husband, Ian’s fuck buddy, lover, boyfriend whatever he was to him died in that car accident that Ian just waves off as if it was nothing.

So he presses for more. “Looks like it was pretty serious. You break your arm?”

“Um, yea...we..um..we were t-boned after he, um Adam, the driver, ran a stop sign.” Ian looks as if he’s physically pained by talking about it.

And just like that Mickey feels like he’s going to pass out. Hearing Ian say his husband’s name makes him feel something, and he realizes it’s pain. Pain to hear him actually say his name, acknowledge him. Adam was his. He was his husband. Except that he wasn’t really and knowing that hurts so much more. It’s like he’s in a vicious cycle of pain. He loved Adam, he thought they were happy yet here was Ian, proof that he had a second life. So Mickey cycles from the pain of losing his husband, mourning him, to the pain of knowing that he was a liar and a cheat, and he was never enough.

As they both sit there in deep thought it begins to get a bit awkward. It’s a heavy subject to talk to someone that you just met.

“So you’re married,” Ian asks as he looks down at his ring. Mickey hasn’t taken off his wedding ring even though he feels betrayed by Adam. Something about taking it off makes it feel permanent. He can’t explain it, it just doesn’t feel right yet.

“Uhm no I was. Not anymore just haven’t gotten around to taking it off” he says as he mindlessly turns the band with his thumb.

He realizes that this was a spectacularly stupid idea. What was he thinking? He was so driven by the fact that Adam had cheated that he wasn’t thinking straight. This could only lead to more heartache for him. He shifted from wanting to know everything to not wanting to know anything. He was so angry at this whole situation. This didn’t even involve him. He had gone his whole life not knowing this man, but now he played a starring role in his heartache and betrayal.

They’re both drinking their coffees and seemingly at a standstill in their conversation. So he decides to ask what he’s been dreading. “So Adam, the driver, is he related to you?”

“No, he wasn’t related to me,” Ian says as he looks at him then looks away. It’s as if he’s contemplating something, but unsure of what to do with it. “He was a friend”

“Was a friend?” Mickey can’t believe he’s going down this route, but it’s where his words are taking him.

“He um, he didn’t make it, in the car accident”

“Sorry to hear that,” Mickey says and it sounds strange to his own ears as he says this. That he’s giving Ian condolences for the death of his husband.

“What happened, you said he ‘ran a light, right?”

“No, it was a stop sign. We were talking, and I told him some stuff he didn’t want to hear. He was upset and was trying to talk to me. We started to argue and he missed the stop sign. The truck ran right into us on the driver’s side.” Ian pauses, looks down at the table then back up at Mickey “I’m sorry to be laying all this on you. We literally just met and I’m talking about some pretty heavy stuff. I just haven’t been able to really talk to anyone about any of this.” Ian scratches the back of his head lightly as he says this.

“I’m the one that asked, no worries.” Now Mickey wants to know what they were arguing about. What could have caused Adam to get so distracted that he would have ran a stop sign. Adam was a car salesman, he drove cars for a living. He rode in cars with people all the time. He wasn't extremely cautious when he drove, but running stop signs was not something that he did. Mickey knew that, he drove with him for years.

“So you all were friends then?” Ian looks at him and says, “Yea something like that”

“What did you tell him?” Ian seems to be lost in thought at the moment and looks back at Mickey as if he just remembered he’s there. “I’m sorry what”

“Yea you said you told him something and he got upset. What did you tell him?”

Ian stares at him as if he can’t believe that he’s being asked something like this so bluntly. Mickey realizes that he might have let his emotions get away with him. Ian doesn’t know the whole story or why Mickey was really there. Mickey decides this is his cue to leave.

“Hey man, It’s getting late, I gotta go. Um, it was nice meeting you. I’ll see you around.” Mickey gets up and turns to walk away. He stops and looks back at Ian. “And sorry about that, it was none of my business”

Ian just stares at him, mouth half-open, like he can’t put together what's happening. Mickey standing up to leave was so abrupt. Ian looked as if he didn’t understand why this was happening.

It’s so odd for him to apologize to anyone, and here he was apologizing to his dead husband’s lover. He somehow felt he had trespassed on something that he was not privy to, even though that included Adam, his husband, it dawned on him like a truck through a brick wall that Adam was never truly his. Adam chose to step out of their marriage, chose to give himself to someone else. Regardless if Ian knew or didn’t know he was married; Adam made a choice, and Mickey was never a part of that choice.

As Mickey is walking out the door he hears Ian call his name, “Mickey, hey don’t worry about it it’s a long story for another day, but here’s my number if you want we can meet up some other time and hang out.” Mickey stares at the brown napkin with Ian’s number hastily written on it. He thinks about taking it, but instead, he says, “Look man, I’m not looking for anything right now. I’m going through some pretty heavy shit myself and I’m not in a good place.”

Ian stares at the outstretched napkin in his hand and faintly replies, “I’m not looking for anything either, I’m going through some heavy shit as well” he says as he gestures to his arm sling, “but I thought you were easy to talk to and it felt nice. Haven’t been able to do that in a while. So here’s my number, hopefully, you enjoyed talking to me as well.”

Mickey reaches out and takes the napkin. Without another word he turns and walks away from Ian. He puts the napkin in his pocket and makes his way off the college campus. He knows he won’t contact him. He took the napkin to not be a complete asshole, but he knew when he got home the napkin would most likely end up in the trash. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t be his friend. Mickey was going to let the situation just be, it was done, he was done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love comments and kudos. Have a wonderful day!


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